Most of you know that I like to run...or should I say that I like what it feels like to stop running. Makes sense. Don't tell me it doesn't. Well, when I started doing races I remember thinking a marathon would be something I would like to cross off my list but 26.2 miles? For reals? That is twice as far as a half marathon (did ya know that?) and a half marathon is the farthest I've ever ran.
Well at last years Ogden half marathon I finished and was like tra la la, that was fun and kinda easy. So naturally I need to step it up and either sign up for a full or crush my previous time of 1:42, both could be done, but which should I choose? I know. I should just stress about a decision ( I REALLY stink at making even the most minuscule of decisions, right Ove?) for the next several months. Will I have time to train? What about burn out? Oh and did I mention that if I run a marathon, why not just go for it and try and qualify for Boston? I know I could do it if I set my mind to it. Ross tries to talk me out of the craziness, but I tell him it is now or never - my body is going to fall apart young - this much I swear to be true.
October rolls around and I do it! I signed up for the Ogden marathon. I kind of peed my pants a little when I do. I committed! I am doing this! The stress is over. Until I start looking at every bit of running, training and schedule info I can get my hands on. I looked at stuff daily for 3 months. No joke. I might have some obsessive tendencies. I find the one and pick the beginning of January to jump into this specific training plan (I had been running very consistently even before I started this plan and it wasn't much different than what I was doing, so I should be good). Each day I cross off a day. I get super excited. I like looking at my plan and seeing hat I haven't missed a day of training/cross training for over a month. I even joined a running group for my long runs on Saturdays to get my butt off the treadmill. I am running in the snow on Saturdays, but love it. I am getting faster and everything is going well.
Until one day I am doing sprints and hill repeats and my knee feels kinda funny. No big deal. Then later that day it kills. I can't stand, sit or especially walk down the stairs without pain. Ice. Massage. Stretching. Went for my long run on Saturday and only made it 3 miles. Blerg. Ice. Massage. Stretching and no running for a few days. Biking hurts, so I swim. Oh man. I stink at swimming. Anyone know how depressing it is to be struggling to keep up with the 300lb man in the lane next to you? I do - I see his pot belly every time I have to stick my head in the water and I groan with disgust with how slow I am. Wednesday I went for an easy run and everything went well.. so I did my planned 13 miles on Saturday and..I felt great. Hallelujah...until a couple of hours later. The pain sets in and I want to cry because I am scared of not being to run.
It's been a month since the day it started hurting and I've been running off and on. I have been through 2 physical therapists and was diagnosed with both IT band and runners knee issues - pretty common in runners, but it doesn't change the fact that I can't run pain free. I am doing all that I can to keep running - including draining our cafeteria plan in a matter of a few short weeks with PT visits. Now I am at a sports specific physical therapist office and they at least seem to know what they are talking about. But who knows if I will be able to run this marathon now, let alone qualify for Boston. Oh yeah, and now they have changed their qualifying times for the first time since 1980. Naturally.
I wish I was like Pollyanna and could just roll with the punches, but that doesn't jive with the obsessiveness I mentioned earlier. It is frustrating to finally commit to something, have the will power to be doing something, doing it well and have it all change in one day. To be doing all that you can to get back to where you were and have it not be enough. Bleh. I know I am not the only one that this happens to, and that this post was unbelievably boring, but you know? It feels good to have a pity party sometimes, even if no one is listening.
15 years ago
30 comments:
I will totally throw you a pity party. What kind of refreshments would you like???
I have a dear friend who ran two marathons last summer with only a week between the two. Had sever stress fractures from the first one, but qualified for Boston. The second one totally did her in. She was on crutches and in wraps for weeks. Then last week she sprained her ankle in a volleyball game with friends. She's supposed to run the Boston what, next month???
I'm so sorry you're body is protesting. I wish you well!!!
Sorry, I have no idea what this feels like. Sometimes I wish I was a runner and I try, but I'm just not! We just better stay baking buds.
Super frustrating. I spent almost one whole cross country season in a swimming pool training after a stress fracture. I am sorry!
Why can't lazy people get the bum body parts ;)
I'll throw you a pity party! I'm sorry that sucks. That has to be so frustrating. I get frustrated seeing girls out running, I totally want to but my large pregnant belly and poor bladder contorl aren't really working for me lately! Good luck! I hope you will still be able to run it. I want to be at the finish line to see you!
Oh megan! I am so sorry! really. I know that would be soooo hard to have your heart set on something and then not be able to do it, and it's not your fault. I am the same way, so I kinda understand. Plus, you want to be able to do the best you can do with nothing holding you back. I hope it starts feeling better and they figure something out for you. Good luck....keep me posted :)
So sorry friend! That's really lame to have pain when you're trying to be all gung-ho about running. I agree with Cassi!
I'm listening!! Megan this is horrible! I would be crushed. Hopefully you can fix it. I know you really want to qualify for Boston but remember if you slow it down you might get better and still be able complete your goal of running a marathon (which is still freaking awesome!). I know everybody is different but I totally get jacked when I do speed training with injuries. Anyway I hope all your appointments work and you will be in great shape to run the marathon.
Bummer! My knees were always hurting after I had Ever but now they are fine so maybe you need to have another kid!! That should solve all your problems.... But now it's my uterus that constantly hurts and I have Ragnar in June we can suffer together. Go big or Go home Megan you've got this!!!
That really sucks, you can have a pitty party all you want. You amaze me with your running awesomeness....I hope it all works out for you because I know how much you want to do this and how obsessive you really are! We are the same in that category...but seriously I hope it all works out for you and keep us posted! Oh and you crack me up with the pollyanna thing, I haven't watched that show in so long, you are pretty random!
See what setting goals does for ya? You should be strong & fight the urge to be better you, just work with what ya got. Like me: No success, no disappointment. & NO to the gal that thinks the lazy people should get the bum parts. --Really though, best wishes--
That totally sucks Megan! I hope that you can get it figured out so you can do Boston. I guess that is why I never run, I just couldn't deal with the let down if I got hurt:). Remember when you and Stacia would go and run and Chels and I would stay and probably just watch Gilmore Girls and eat Nutella? GOod time!
Hey at least your motivated...I ran for the first time since who knows when and I couldn't move the next day. I will run a marathon one day...one day. I see your enthusiasm and I want to match it. As for the knee...I have two bum knees...surgery on both. Good luck I hope you get it figured out!
I'm listening! I'm so sorry, that sounds incredibly frustrating. I hope that you start feeling better soon! And just to finish a marathon, Boston or no, is an incredible accomplishment. So don't beat yourself up over it!
I feel your pain. I trained for 10 months to run the St. George Marathon and two weeks before the race I went to do my last long run before resting up for the race...two blocks into it I heard & felt a snap in my foot and wasn't able to run again for 6 months. My orthopedic surgeon made me promise I'd never try it again before he rebuilt my ankle this last time.
Ok, I am going to tell you a bit of a story. I am not a runner, bit I DO understand what you are going through.
So back in october I went in for a routine physical. The doctor found a lump. I had a biopsy and a week later I was diagnosed with cancer. Two weeks after that I had my tumor removed and started on hormonal therapy, which was hell. Anyway, my tumor was bignenough and showed sighs of moving into my lymph nodes so they recommended radioactive iodine treatment.
I did the special diet and scheduled my treatment time. I went to the hospital and did my mandatory blood test. An hour later the nuclear med tech calked my husband and I into their office to say they couldnt treat me because (drum roll) I am pregnant.
I was about 9 weeks when I found out and terrified that all my treatment had hurt the baby. I even complained to the doc about how horrible I felt and he said it was normal with hormonal therapy and would pass. I didn't think anything of it. Needless to say, it is terrifying to think I still have cancer that I can't treat till after I have the baby in august.
Well, if that wasnt enough, on valentines day my joint issue reared it's ugly head. My body first work well with being pregnant. I tore and herniated 2 discs and have a crushed clump of nerves that makes it so I can't use my right leg. They say I might be bed ridden till I give birth.
Anyway, it's hard. I feel like I lost my life in October with cancer. At least then I could walk. I am not saying all of this to wow you, but to say that I have had a lot taken away from me recently and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I have spent many, many hours being absolutely terrified and horribly depressed. Bad things happen, and what I have learned is that, while it is frustrating, we can use these experiences as lessons and can learn a lot from them. It's damn hard though, especially when situations totally change how you are living your life. It's normal to be upseypt, bit live in the moment. The future will be ready for you when you get there.
Sorry for all the typos. I am using my iPad and autocorrect hates me so I have some weird words in there.
suck it up megan! haha, just kidding. take it easy for a few and you can still probably qualify for Boston, you have a 3:40 in you easy.
shoot dang! Megs, Im sorry....I think that is all I can say right now. And...yes lets throw a pity party. I'll bring some treats!
UGH! That is super frustrating! I'm sorry! I know how sucky it is to have knee pain, and I feel for you! BUT just remember that even doing all this training is amazing! I can't even run to the mailbox! GO YOU! Hope everything gets better!
Oh man Meg I am so sorry! That has got to be so frustrating. Keep your head up!
Oh my gosh!! I totally know what you are talking about!! It happened to me too! I trained for an 8K thanksgiving Day race in Buffalo in 2008..training was great, race was great..took a month off because I got sick and as soon as I try to run again knee problems..SO FRUSTRATING!! I also saw a pt..and a knee specialist..nada. It was only this past spring that I was able to start running again (but had to stop shortly thereafter due to the pregnancy and HIGH humidity) but I never found out the problem or how to prevent it for next time..grrr! All I can say is I hope I can get back into it after a few more weeks. So sorry my friend!
Meg! I am so sorry. That's rotten! Seriously. I can't even imagine that kind of frustration. Sorry. I'll through you a pity party anytime!
I am sad for you! You could use my knees although you would probably be better off with yours...running just saying it makes me want to nap
Id like to say something encouraging, but I can't think of anything. I guess more important than running the race is being able to walk when you 60. That sucks, I'm sorry.
So very sorry to hear that you have an injured knee that stinks as I have hurt mine too. It would be really cool for you to run a full marathon and even qualify for Boston. Hopefully your injured knee heals fully and fast for you to get on with your goal and dream. Be carful as you have a whole life ahead of you to take care of kids and be a mom without bad knees the rest of your life. I have a friend that is a runner and she had to stop as her knees were getting worse over time. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do Megan!! We are here to cheer you on!!
That seriously stinks! I hope you get it all worked out, and soon! I pulled my IT Band the week before my half marathon last year. I remember crying because I couldn't do my last long run.
Qualifying for the Boston on your first full marathon!? I can only dream....
Our bodies are totally amazing and can take so much, but it is frustrating when things stop working the way you want them too. I get frustrated because I want to be a runner, but my body definitely rebels. Lately I've been super frustrated with my back. I hope you can find something that helps so you can make your goals.
i love to read your blog...now im following you....follow me back ok...thank you....:) im from malaysia...(Borneo)
You are my lifesaver, because i have had the same issues, and just couldn't put my finger on it. I have avoided the doctor and seeing you post makes me feel maybe time to go doctor. All those things you said about it hurting to even walk down the stairs is me exactly. I can run about 4 miles without the horrible pain, but man alive when the pain kicks in I am done. If I wait a day and do NOTHING then the day after that I can run, but good heck it HURTS, HURTS,HURTS. I have been wanting to run a half marathon but can't make it past 4 miles and then I get about 8 and my knee has given out SOOOO many times I seriously think I am going to die. So do you where a brace or anything when you run??? I do from time to time. Thanks for posting this so now I may actually see doc about it. YOU ROCK GIRL.
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